They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
