So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
