hell yes lets make some ravioli
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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