Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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