he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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