you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
