is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
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We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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