think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
