i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I will die if light touches me.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
