Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
