Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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