It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
