hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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