I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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