my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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