Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
love makes seman taste better
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
