Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize