More tranny stories later!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
