you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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