I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
