i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
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doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
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How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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