guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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