found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
