Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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