8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
