dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I need to align my fucking chakras
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