Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize