Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Randomize
