You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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