Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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