My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
