Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I need a burrito and a hug.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
