If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
