sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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