The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I party with great urgency now.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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