Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
