I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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