I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
