i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My pussy is not your playground.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
