What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I don't think brook has ever known best
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
