I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
accomplished twins. life is a go
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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