I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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