Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.