oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.