I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
