Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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