I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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