don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
