yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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