When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
