nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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