Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
