I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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