So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
