I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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