Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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