Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
