what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
