I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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