we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
