After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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