I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
