Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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