we have officially lost it.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
