I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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