I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
