Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
True strength comes from lack of pants
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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