the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize