is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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