So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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