Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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