I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize