I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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