he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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